Rick Perry just announced that he will not seek re-election for Governor of Texas.
So what’s he going to do now? We had a private, secret, off the record interview with the guv and he hinted at some of the following:
He might open up his own gun shop, “with stores in all 251 counties in Texas, oops 252 counties, oops 253 counties, oh you know what I mean, everywhere, everywhere.”
He will definitely be running again, this next time running with the bulls in Pamplona.
He said now he “will have more time to devote all my efforts working on Texas secession from the Union, or was that the Onion?”
Perry said that since the country was so entertained by his gaffes in the last presidential election, he will work on more gaffes to entertain us in the next presidential election.
If he could not be canonized for sainthood, he said he will pray that his staff will nominate him “to the Governor’s Hall Of Shame, oops, I mean Hall Of Fame.”
He is also going to devote more time fighting for women's rights: the rights to be barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen, and by golly he will especially honor their right to STAY pregnant.
