Friday, December 21, 2012

It's a Mad, Mad World

Bill Clinton has an affair and the Republicans impeach him.
Petraeus has an affair and the Republicans want to run him for president.

Ed Muskie cries and the Republicans run him off.
John Boehner cries and it is a blessed event.

Know why?
Because Boehner cries for the poor rich people.

End of the World

Guys I figured it out.
The world really has ended.

It just hasn't gotten this far north yet.

 Jim S.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Our Proclivity To Violence

                                                             
Long ago a military commander, for another reason, shouted,“Don’t fire until you see the whites of their eyes!” But maybe now we ought to look at the bloodshot eyes, at the teary eyes.
Don’t jump to conclusions, I’m a gun owner, always have been. I hunted game as a boy on the farm, and by the way, Dad taught us to eat the game we killed.
Bob Costas will now be even more outspoken for gun control. But in many countries a larger percentage of citizens own guns and there is less percentage of gun violence. It is something more…it is our proclivity towards violence over here. I don’t care if it’s four teens beating a homeless man to death with baseball bats or a hundred other examples.
Sure we need gun control. We need background checks even at gun shows, we need to eliminate automatic weapons (not semi-automatic some mistakenly call automatic). We need to ban assault weapons (Again). We need to ban mega-shell clips and magazines.
But more importantly, we need to change our culture. Some swear up and down that increasingly more violent video games, songs, movies have nothing to do with it. I say you’re wrong. Sure your kid isn’t going to mass murder, but it teaches youth, and some others, that some kind of violence is OK, that it’s the norm.
Nothing we do will cover all extremism, but retraining ourselves sure will help.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Over 842 Served

Back when I was in college about a thousand years ago, there was a hamburger chain. They were so small they only had one arch and I believe the sign over their place said "over 842 Served."

They've grown quite a bit since into a multi-billion dollar company. I still eat their hamburgers from time to time, I like them. Their CEO made $8.8 million last year. In addition to annual bonuses, he gets over an eight million longterm bonus every three years. Living in poverty, I think the only bonus their employees get are the pickles they pick off the floor.

It's not just them, at a combination taco, chicken and pizza chain, the CEO received $29.67 million in compensation last year. Their employees living in poverty, are not just high school kids, they average 30 years old with families to feed.  I know, tell them to get a college degree, with what?

We have a big box store in our town. The CEO of this big box chain made $18.7 million last year.
I've been shopping their stores for decades, gotten to know some good employees lately, Larry, Lavelle, Rick, Sallie, and decided I'd speak up for them.

You say it's not your problem? Well the greatest number of employees on food stamps come from this one big box chain. And you as a taxpayer are paying for this.

I know you say that we shouldn't shop or eat at these places, but that wouldn't get anybody better wages. Let's pressure, let's embarrass these rich companies not to be scrooges. Tell them they don't have to have a heart, just one-hundredth of a heart.

Friday, November 16, 2012

New Republican Campaign Slogan

I am waiting for Mitch McConnell, Boehner and the boys to announce their new campaign slogan:

"Let's make Obama a two term president."

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

To Our Friends Outside Texas

By now you have been reading that many Texans have signed a petition to secede from the Union.

We want you out of staters to know that the vast majority of us want to stay in the Union.

It is just those goosepoop, scum-sucking, bottom-dwelling, neanderthal, stupid, ignorant, radical, extremist, numbnuts, corksoaking, fog-brained, gutter-dwelling, mush-headed, cut-off-their-noses-to-spite-their-faces, can't-see-beyond-the-tip-of-their-noses (that they just cut off), manure-cranium, did I say extremist, teabagger Republicans that want to leave.

We want them to leave too.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

IT WAS GOD'S WILL

There have been a lot of kook Republican candidates, in fact some sick ones.
The Akins and the Mourdocks were not exceptions to their party, the Republican Party has a plethora of misogynists.

But Mourdock's words that if a woman gets raped and gets pregnant, it was God's will,
 has an application.

I am hearing a lot of Republicans complain about the Presidential election results.
If you hear the same, tell them what I tell them:

IT WAS GOD'S WILL !

Friday, November 2, 2012

WHY?

A Republican asked me tonight:
"Why do you Democrats even bother to vote in Texas?"

I told her, "We do it just to piss you off."

GO PISS' EM OFF FOLKS.

Jim

Monday, September 24, 2012

What Went Wrong ?

Mitt Romney isn't working out for the Republicans.

Geez, do you think they should have picked:
Sarah Palin?
Michele Bachmann? 
Hermann Cain?
Donald Trump?
Rick Perry?
Christine O'Donnell?
Rick Santorum?
Chris Christie?
Sharron Angle?
Jim Demint?
Mitch McConnell?
Allen West?
Todd Akin?
Karl Paladino?

Punted?

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

An Awful Lotta Bitchin' Lately

Over many decades our youth or disenfranchised have protested against what they thought was wrong or for what they thought was right.
They were usually met with cries of "Love it or leave it."

There has been an awful lot of bitchin' from Republicans in this country lately.

Geez do ya' think we oughtta tell 'em to "Love it or leave it."

Saturday, August 11, 2012

What Happened To Life On Mars

Scientists now tell us that during the planet Mars' 4.5 billion years of existence, the planet was wet approximately one billion years. You remember scientists, those creatures that used to inhabit our planet Earth until Conservatives had them all burned at the stake.

Back to Mars, what happened to the wet planet? I'm not sure, I'm not a scientist, but I figure that there was atmospheric pollution, that was followed by global warming, Republicans on Mars called it a hoax, and the damn place just burned up.

Of course burning of scientists at the stake on the planet Mars probably contributed to global warming there too.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Science Not A Hoax

Some local Republican yokels still pose that global warming-climate change is a hoax.
UNC Chapel Hill sociologist Gordon Gauchat just published his study that 65% of conservatives (read Republicans) have little or no trust in science. In 1974, half of them did. He relates that they are turning against science as they turned against higher education and the media.
I suspect these particular Republicans put their faith in Ouija Boards, Tarot Cards, reading of tea leaves, and crystal balls.
They further say that they don’t have to take care of the planet because they will soon be raptured. Hold it folks, the Rapture was four years ago, three years ago, two years ago, and last year. I’m sure another Rapture will be scheduled again this year for those of you who missed it.
In the meantime, I suggest you start taking a little better care of this planet, you may be down here a little longer than you expected.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

I'm Not Asking What Happened To Civility

In 2010 psycho Republican Congressman Darrell Issa announced that he would hold investigating hearings against President Obama "seven hearings a week, times forty weeks."
This Neanderthal has no concern with working on the economy, jobs, keeping America going. His only concern is to be a barbaric bull running through a china shop destroying everything. The Eric Holder charges are just the latest example of this.
I don't ask what happened to civility; I ask what happened to civilization itself?
I would urge Republicans to come to their senses, but they are not going to. Seems like every Republican in Congress is going along with this.
It is now up to you Democrats to stand up, all of you, locals included, to knock some sense into them.

Monday, July 9, 2012

"Hoping They Will" ?

According to the article I read, the Texas Public Utilities Commission, PUC, I know some of you spell that differently, is considering tripling our electric rates "hoping power companies will build new power plants."

Hoping my butt, this ain't our first rodeo. Texas PUC, you put that "hoping" in writing. It's a condition of your raising rates!!!!!!!!!!!

I know we can count on Rick's buddies to come through for us.

They're Not Thinking This One Through

Mega-millionaires and billionaires are giving up their United States citicenship in order to avoid millions in taxes.
Folks, you are not thinking this thing through. Just hide all but a tiny fraction (to look good) in Swiss and Cayman Island bank accounts, like Mitt Romney did.
That way you will evade, not avoid, the taxes, and who knows, some day you folks may want to run for president. What better present can you buy for someone who has everything.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

At Least Get Paid For It

An idiot from Oklahoma, Republican Senator Inhofe, says climate change is “the greatest hoax ever perpetrated” on Americans. Inhofe has collected $16.2 million from energy and natural resource lobbies. He has also collected the most cash from a funder of global warming deniers, the Koch Industries. Some might say Inhofe has been paid to say such things.

Local deniers emulate Inhofe. They even come up with stuff like, “Duh, if there is global warming, why are we having freezing blizzards? They never check it out. After arctic ice melts, oceanic currents send all that moisture laden cold down our West coast. That travels eastward giving you the blizzards.
As reported in the July issue of Popular Science, “Some 98% of working climate scientists agree that the atmosphere is already warming in response to human greenhouse-gas emissions, and the most recent research suggests that we are on the path toward what were once considered worst case scenarios.”
I guess for your benefit scientists started calling it “climate change” because they agree the hots will be hotter, colds colder, wets wetter, and dries drier.
But if you local deniers want to keep talking as deniers, don’t be complete idiots. See if you can get paid for it too.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Whatever Happened To Randolph Scott

"What Ever Happened To Randolph Scott" was a song written by The Statler Brothers in 1987.

Tho in the same vein, this is neither about him nor a song.

I am wondering whatever happened to "United we stand" ?
Whatever happened to "We're all in this together" ?
Whatever happened to "The loyal opposition" ?

We heard these words echoed for many, many decades, even in the last administration.
But now comes outfits like the extremist Tea Party, and several hundred new hate groups, extremist militias and the likes.
The mission of some of particular groups is either to kill cops and judges, impeach President Obama before he even took office, replace honorable Republicans like Richard Lugar of Indiana with the likes of fanatics like Allen West of Florida. Even once semi-reasonable Republicans have swung to their side.
Their battle cry is "No Cooperation, No Compromise," things that were the foundation of our very Constitution., our very continuance as a great nation.

I'm hesitant to compare to Hitler and Nazi Germany, only because they have used the words so often. But this is Goose-Stepping beyond no doubt.

Whatever happened to America?

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Another Congratulations

No, it's not a horse race or political election this time; that will come later.

Last night we watched the Fort Worth Cats play their season opening baseball game at La Grave field, hosting the Rio Grand Valley WhiteWings. We saw Benji Gil who used to play for the Texas Rangers.

Now the Cats just went through a bankruptcy, couldn't pay the players their meager salaries, couldn't pay for the bus, couldn't pay the light bill. LaGrave Field was closed. Last year a group of investors came to the rescue.

But last night, as I remember, between the sixth and seventh innings, one of the giant light standards went black. We said oh, oh, they only had enough money to pay for six innings.

After a game delay, somebody apparently paid the light bill, and the Cats won 10- 2.
Congratulations to a local team on their opener.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Progress On Exercising

My wife finally coerced me to sign up at a gymnasium. Signing up, I asked the young lady across the counter how many times I had to come. She said some people come every day, some three times a week, some once a week. I replied that on the agreement, I did not see a box I could check for zero times a week.

She said you will enjoy it, look thru the glass at all the people and all the machines. As I peered thru that glass cell, I saw the torture machines, I noticed that nobody was smiling, and they were sweating. I then recalled that there is a religious denomination in town that says you must suffer on Earth, so you will be rewarded in Heaven. I figured that all the people in that glass imprisonment belonged to that denomination.

On the way home, I stopped at a bookstore and bought a book on exercising, showing pictures of various exercises. As I sat down on my back porch reading it, looking at pictures, and of course sipping on my cup of coffee, which they still haven’t said was bad for you this month, I sensed that my pulse rate was rising and there were tiny drops of sweat on my brow, and I felt that I was doing my part.
Or maybe it was just the mister on the back porch on my forehead. You never can really tell about these things.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Ann Romney's Response

For those of you not keeping up with the news these last days,
Romney says he depends on his wife for a lot of his opinions.
Seems like he was trying to belly up to women after the Republicans war on women.

Hilary Rosen responds by saying that Ann Romney has never worked a day in her life.

Ann Romney responds by defending the work of stay at home moms.

This is all appropriate, but having watched Ann's speech, I want to inform you of words from that speech. Ann said "We need to respect choices women make."
Republicans will scream that this was taken out of context, that she really wasn't applying that to anything else, but they will not get away with it!

"We need to respect choices women make."
Ann Romney

Ladies, women's groups, run with this, whether it is health care, choices you make with your body, women's rights, publish this, run with it as Republicans try to run with the rest of the speech.

Republicans, paste this quote on your refrigerators, on your bumpers, over your mother's pictures, because, if women have any guts, you are going to have to live with that quote, you are going to have to own it.

Friday, April 13, 2012

More Psycho They Talk, More They Love It

I told you earlier about psycho Allen West, congressman from Florida.
He told President Obama and progressives to get out of the country.

Big man.

Well now Allen West is trying to tell his constituents again how big a man he is, and they love it.

Allen is now declaring that between 78 and 81 Democratic congressmen are card carrying Communists!!!!

We are not going to tell you to leave the country Allen, we want you to stay so we can have our way with you.

And the only way that is going to happen dear readers is if Each and Every one of us stand up and speak up. Some say it's too looney to deserve an answer.

No, it needs to be answered, by all of us.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Another Good Joke

I heard this one on David Letterman tonight:

Because Mitt Romney is Mormon he can actually have several vice presidents.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Good Joke

This one was passed on to me:
A liberal, a moderate and a conservative walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hi Mitt."

Sunday, March 18, 2012

From "Global Warming" to "Climate Change" to "Extreme Weather"

Those are the terms scientists and weathermen have slowly upgraded to.

Yet the non-intelligents I referred to in my last article keep insisting that it is not real, that it is a hoax, that humans had nothing to do with it.

Oh very well.

My only question is when the tornadoes happen where they never before happened, in seasons they never before happened, and far more frequently, when the flooding and droughts are more severe and prolonged, yes when even blizzards are more severe, when ocean levels rise, when food production becomes limited...

can we put those who said it was a hoax in jail, can we make all the naysayers pay for all the damages because they convinced our leaders to do nothing?

Probably not, because when it all happens, they will be the very people who say it was all our fault.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

I'm Cancelling My Health Magazines

I'm cancelling my health magazines.
One month they tell you coffee was bad for you.
Next month they tell you coffee was good for you.
One month they tell you red wine was good for your heart.
Next month they would tell you red wine causes cancer.
One month they tell you ginkgo biloba was good for memory.
Next month they tell you it is worthless for something I can't remember.
One month they tell you load up on Vitamin E.
Next month they they you it'll kill you.

So I am cancelling my subscriptions.
But that was not the problem. The problem was that I kept waiting for them to say that about "exercise."
But month after month, year after year, they kept prescribing exercise, never changing. So you can understand why I cancelled.

My wife keeps telling me to exercise. I said, Honey I drive to the mall every day.
She says that doesn't count.
I tell her I could drive all the way to Dallas.

In the meantime I am going to sit in my recliner, sipping on my coffee, until one of you sends me an article saying that they finally changed their minds, and declared that exercise is bad for you.
Then I will exercise by getting out of my recliner, carry the article to my wife, and go back to my recliner to sip on my coffee, which I hope will still be good for you.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

READ THE LABELS

I just read the labels on the Republican presidential candidate bottles.

The labels said that taking them may have side effects including:
nausea, headaches, stomach cramps, diarrhea, hallucinations, and premature expirations.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Follow Them Down The Psycho-Path

The Republican Party is getting more psycho every day.
If you thought you had enough with Sharron Angle, Carl Paladino, Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Orly Taitz, Joyce Kaufman, Glenn Beck, and Ann Coulter,

now comes Arizona Guv Jan Brewer and Florida Congressman Allen West. Not that they haven't been on the list before.
Brewer keeps coming up with more different concoctions (untruths) about her putting her finger in the President's face. But then as someone else said, she is a stranger to the truth. Jan Brewer said her dad died fighting the Nazis in Germany. He died in California in 1955! He was never in Germany.

Allen West, this time winding his ribbon around the psychopole, told the President and other Dems to get the hell out of the United States.

Trouble is, their followers eat this stuff up.

Any guesses on violence to follow? If you don't recall Joyce Kaufmann, she is the Florida radio hate host who said, "If ballots don't work, bullets will." Even after that West hired her to work in Congress for a bit until West thought it would be too radical. Maybe now they can get back together again.

We've heard this psycho talk from dozens of those in the Republican Tea Party. It was mummed after Gabby Giffords was shot. But as I said in an earlier article, it will be back, and it is.
There followers eat it up!

Yes, their base will follow them right down that winding PSYCHO-PATH.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Redistribution of Wealth?

Years ago, the employees of the company from which I retired gave back to the company Ten Billion Dollars in reduced wages, pensions and benefits to help out the company in bad times.
Since then, F IVE top executives of the company have gotten, in addition to salaries, One Hundred Million Dollars in bonuses, stock options and grants.

Would somebody please ask the Republican Party if that falls under the catagory of "redistribution of wealth"?

Sunday, January 15, 2012

In All Fairness

In all fairness, we did 19 Newtiegrams, we should do 19 Mittiegrams.
So much to talk about like:
"Corporations are people."
"Let foreclosures run their course."
His fellow (thou shalt not talk ill of another Republican) Perry calling him a "Vulture Capitalist."
When challenged, how Mitt says we should "talk about this in quiet rooms."
Just when was it that Mitt had to worry about "getting a pink slip."
The flip-flopping.
How others have said Mitt would say anything to get elected.

Have you noticed that when Mitt can't answer a question in an interview, he starts fidgeting, physically bouncing around, saying we should start the interview over again. Even Newt can keep his composure better than that. You can't start the presidential office over again Mitt.

So much to talk about, and so little time.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Groundhog Day Legend

I noticed that Groundhog Day is coming up February 2nd. Part of the legend is that if the groundhog pops up that day and sees his shadow, he goes back into his burrow.

The way the Republican candidates have cast a shadow upon their party, in fact the way the Republican Party casts a shadow upon their claims of caring about the American people, the whole lot of them ought to crawl back into their burrows for six months.

And they might think about staying down there rather than coming up for elections. When the last Republican left the White House, America was losing 750,000 jobs a month.
I have no doubt Republicans would give us four years of Winter.

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